“When I was younger, having people over was just ‘hanging out.’ But somewhere during my thirties, having people over turned into ‘hosting.’ What’s that about? This isn’t a late night talk show. Why am I ‘hosting’ all of a sudden? It’s just a vocabulary change, but words come with their own baggage. This is one that I think deserves some scrutiny. ‘Hosting’ and ‘entertaining’ are words that fancy lifestyle magazines and HGTV makeover shows use to describe having people over—usually while they’re redesigning a deck or remodeling a den-kitchen combo complete with pool table, twelve-seat sectional, and wet bar. I for one feel a completely different type of energy when I use those words. Entertaining and hosting are words that fill me with a sense of pressure, anxiety, and expectations about how things ‘should’ be. Something about those words robs the focus away from feelings, emotions, and interactions, and puts the focus instead on the structure, style, and execution. Think about it this way. In real life, when you’ve been at a best friend’s house having a heart-to-heart about something that really matters in your life, did you get up and formally thank them for ‘entertaining’ you when it was over? I doubt it. That would probably come off as clinical and transactional.”
— “We Should Get Together” by Kat Vellos
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